Owning my Dorkiness

I may have inadvertently put my brother on the terrorist watch list.  You see, I’m a dork.  My husband is being transferred to work in northern Virginia so I was in the DC area looking to see what towns we should consider while looking for a home.  I was alone, driving my brother’s car through Arlington to DC.  (He lives in DC).

I was feeling rather cocky that I was seeing all the right landmarks and therefore going the right direction.  I had managed to go to a number of towns that day without getting lost.  My problem is I looked down at the map on the Navigation system and saw I had a turn ahead, panicked and proceeded to exit immediately.  As I came off the exit I came to some road work and a lady with a flag waved me down a lane and when I passed the construction I saw turning right meant I would be going into a parking structure.  A Pentagon parking structure.  Uh Oh!  I bit my lip.  I couldn’t go forward.

So, I turned left.  Suddenly a police car came toward me and I heard over a loud speaker “You are going the wrong way on a one way street”!  Another police car pulled along side him with lights flashing and siren wailing.  Still biting my lip, I waved, stopped biting my lip, mouthed “thank you” and did a u-turn followed by a quick right turn.  I then looked in my rearview mirror to see if I was being pulled over.  I was not.

I began to breath heavily since I had been holding my breath, drove over a bridge and got myself back on the highway.  I managed to get to my brother’s home without further incident.  My brother was out of town for a couple days and I conveniently forgot to tell him about the incident.

I hope they didn’t write his license plate number down.  I think I better tell him about the incident.

In my defense, (since my wrong turn was near the Department of Defense), if I wasn’t a dork I wouldn’t have as many funny life stories to laugh about; and sophisticated people can be boring.

On the other hand, they probably are less likely to get their brother on a watch list.


Monday, Monday

It was a stereotypical Monday. $63 ticket for parking on the street on street sweeping day. Ball point pen found its way into the dryer with three of my favorite, less than a year old tops. The drum of the dryer is marked up too. My neck has been doing well…well until today when I apparently did something wrong trying to organize my junk/treasures for a garage sale. I went to the grocery store for the umpteenth time in the past week and still forgot something. I have dinner ready on time but my family is not on time. And yet, I’m not feeling all riled up about any of it. Odd.

I did have an awesome time this morning preparing for the women’s Bible study that I’m a part of. Actually, I think I’m more annoyed by the fact that I ended the last sentence with a preposition than the fact a lot of money went down the drain today and my neck hurts and dinner is drying out. Odd.

I’m on day 8 of a 10 day detox diet. Maybe that accounts for my odd lack of strong emotions. I couldn’t stuff bread or ice cream in my face when things went wrong today. So no rise and fall of the glycemic index.

Stuffing God’s Word into my mind before the smorgasbord of Monday-ness spread out on my day was a definite mood stabilizer. As much as I’d give to eat something that isn’t protein, vegetable, garlic (I hope I don’t reek of garlic) or olive oil (it ain’t cheap ya know), I gladly admit the truth I consumed in the Bible this morning met some deeper cravings.

Come what may – tickets, ruined clothes, dreaded grocery shopping, tweaked necks, dried out chicken – the Bible puts it all into perspective for me. Jesus put it all into perspective. They’re all just minor, passing, annoyances. No need to break out into my personal rendition of “I can’t get no-oh sa-tis-faction”.

“Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things”! Psalm 107:8,9